Shropshire Magazine

Layla attending her school prom.

Her sudden, tragic death came out of the blue, but Layla Pitt is a shining presence in her family’s life still, discovers Shirley Tart

It’s hard to think of a worse scenario. One minute a loving, happy family is trawling a supermarket near their holiday home choosing a nice, healthy supper. The eldest is in charge of the trolley, the two small ones are as ever, staying close to big sister, and mum and dad are keeping a watchful eye on them all. Perfect.

Then all of a sudden, Layla holds the side of her head with a mild “ouch” . . . and life for that family is never to be the same again.

The next few hours are frantic, with their lovely 11-year-old girl rushed to hospital in Bangor and then on to the Alder Hey Children’s Hospital in Liverpool. And that is where the following day, Layla Jane Pitt died of a brain haemorrhage.

As this first little light which had shone so brightly and on so many, went out of their lives, Rachel and Tristan Pitt stared into a place they barely knew existed, let alone imagined they would ever find themselves.

A school photograph.

It is the annual celebration of Mothering Sunday this month. It is a poignant celebration indeed for the most remarkable mothers: those who have lost a beloved child yet through the bleakest years carry on, intent on keeping that child within the family circle, and raising money to help other children survive, to live a better life.

Last month we told the story of Josh Coates, who died 15 months after a brain tumour had been diagnosed, and his brave mum Mandy Painter who spearheads fundraising in Josh’s name. He was 11 years old, the same age as Layla when she was so suddenly and cruelly snatched during a happy family holiday.

They are both very special children and both with such special mothers left to hold families together even in crippling grief.

Rachel and Tristan Pitt find resources they could never have imagined needing to support each other and their three other children - Liberty now nine, Alfie, five, and Archie, a delightful and smiling little bundle who is just one, born the February after Layla died. Rachel was in the early stages of pregnancy when their tragedy happened.

And 18 months after that ordinary, happy summer shopping trip on a day which was to end with such horror, Rachel and Tristan still call on the strength and support of each other and of unbelievably supportive family and friends, just to carry on.

Even though she feels “I’m just not me any more”, with three other young children, Rachel says: “They mean you have to get out of bed in the morning and we want to make things as normal as possible for them. But we talk about Layla every day; she is still so much part of our lives and always will be. There is not a moment of any day when we don’t think of her.”

Touchingly, one of her greatest anxieties during this winter’s great snow-in and freeze-up was not being able to make the trek to Beckbury churchyard where their darling Layla was buried - her funeral was also there in the church where Rachel and Tristan had married.

From their home in Telford, Beckbury is a few narrow, winding miles and during bad weather, not an easy trip.

“That’s when you wish you had a 4×4,” Rachel says. But for all that, they don’t need to visit a grave to remember their girl. She is there with them, part of them, as much a part of their lives as she ever was. Smiling photographs of Layla having fun, with the other children, with her laughing friends, a snapshot of a girl who so lit up their lives.

“This is where we were happy as a family. We lived here because we had Layla, it was safe and secure, which we believe children should always be,” Rachel said looking round their comfy, welcoming family home.

“Layla was quite independent in a way but happily held my hand to cross a road. In all of her life, she was never away from me or where we didn’t know exactly where she was. That’s the job of parents isn’t it, to keep their children safe?”

You can only weep at the helplessness in Rachel’s eyes as she goes over again and again in her head why this precious, loved, talented and very safe child was taken from them.

Layla was a beautiful bridesmaid at her mum and dad’s wedding, as ever carrying her special bear.

Rachel is a teacher and helps deal with many of life’s traumas involving other children, but absolutely nothing could prepare her for this. They also know that no one was to blame - everyone did all they could - and they accept the word of doctors at Alder Hey that they had rarely come across a similar case.

Logic understands, but emotionally none of it really makes any difference.

Although they knew what a little star she was, Layla’s family have also all been so comforted and amazed by the number of people whose lives their daughter touched.

As we play with a chuckling, bright-eyed Archie fresh from his morning nap, Rachel says: “Layla was such a presence wherever she went. She danced, she loved to act in little playlets, many of them she would write and direct other people in them. It was only after she died that we found the extent to which she had done a lot of that.

“She hated to see anyone upset or hurt; in her ‘plan for the day’ she would write about getting in touch with a friend to see if she was all right. She was such a thoughtful and loving little girl,” says her mum.

“I received letters from parents telling me that their children carried on with music or dance lessons because of Layla’s support. Many people also say that their abiding memory is her beaming smile and sense of love of life.”

And now this first 18 months has gone, does coping change?

Rachel says: “In the early days you are in such a state of shock, almost a rabbit in the headlights. You are in such a haze and go through the first year with people saying that’s the worst because you have the first of everything.

“But this second year is worse. You have the second birthday or Christmas and realise that Layla is not coming back. It’s always like a net curtain you are looking through with the rest of the world happening on the other side. It is your worst nightmare but worse than that because you wake up from nightmares, you don’t wake up from this.”

There is absolutely nothing I can say or do except give a gurgling, beaming Archie a hug.

Yet even in this despair, Rachel, Tristan and the family are dedicated to keeping memories alive in the wider world with the Layla Jane Pitt Remembrance Fund.

Desperate to do something - anything - people will raise money for causes close to the hearts of bereaved families, as they have done here.

And already around £5,000 has been generated with the aim of “doing something for Layla which will help other children”, including help for bereaved families and local children. One project will, it is hoped, involve the Ronald Macdonald room at Alder Hey given over to the family on that last, sad journey with their child. They also want to help young people in the performing arts.

Back home, the Carmichael School of Dancing in Telford shared the Pitt family’s grief so deeply - Layla had been a much loved and valued dancer there since she was a toddler. Liberty and Alfie carry on the tradition and, for Rachel and Tristan, the great comfort is that the children are with people who not only miss their big sister as well but who also know and care about them.

Their mum says: “We are so proud of them. Through their own tears and sadness Liberty and Alfie have been so brave. They miss Layla terribly but have taken on the challenges of day-to-day life with such courage. They keep their sense of fun and adventure while also showing immense sensitivity and care for others.”

A fabulous tribute show last year staged by the Carmichael school might have been a tear-jerker but was also a reminder of Layla’s own sunny, caring and positive grasp on a life which has become a template, an example she would so much want everyone else to embrace.

And so they do.

Rachel can’t praise enough all those at Carmichael’s, at Coalbrookdale CofE School - remembrance awards have already been set up at both - and then head John Holt who supported them so well; local businesses and others who have been so generous in donations and support; and Hope House children’s hospice and its Building Bridges team who are helping Liberty and Alfie in particular deal with Layla’s death. And everyone who so much as bought a raffle ticket or squeezed a hand in mute sympathy is thanked by this grateful family.

At the 2009 Pink Ball: Tristan and Rachel with Liberty, Alfie and Archie.

Layla’s birthday is on Remembrance Day, November 11. And as close to the date as they could get, they marked what would have been her 13th birthday with Layla’s Pink Ball last November.

Pink was Layla’s favourite colour and pink will be the colour of many events yet to come in what they intend will be an annual ‘do’.

Bungee jumping is planned, a team of cyclists from Newport tackled the Pyrenees for Layla’s fund, and Tristan is presently organising a more modest cycle ride between Portmadoc and Telford.

So she was a very special little girl who will always be remembered by so many.

But on an equally grand emotional scale, she was a girl who loved pink, loved people and will carry on helping others in that smiling, caring way. The Layla way.

To help the pink fund, e-mail rachelpitt1@hotmail.co.uk